By Steve Beckow, Golden Age of Gaia
The recognition that every desire is just a variety of the one desire for God is dissolutive.
It’s causing a collapse of mental structures in me similar to what happens to a building in an earthquake.
I’m restored again to the same peace I felt a while back – a deep, deep peace.
But where’s the bliss? Where’s the love? Again, I have only a piece of the puzzle. Not the whole deal.
In this space, however, I do see that behind every desire is the longing for God. And once recognized for what it is, the longing for God grows exponentially.
Again our conscious attention seems to be the trigger that brings the longing for God, love, bliss, peace, etc., alive. Is this the process that many sages talk about as “remembering”?
Again no words are heard here. There’s no guidebook to what I’m experiencing. This space of pure longing for God has brought a deep sense of peace which leads again to the space I called a few days ago “original innocence.” It’s the space of the Natural Self.
I’m not at the realizational level with what I’m discussing. I’m at the experiential – specifically, the feeling – level with it. I feel the longing, the bliss, etc.
Incidentally, I feel bliss now, but I’m no longer in touch with the longing. Another indication that I’m being held back from the full experience, which is fine. This is a co-creative effort and I need to stay grounded.
I notice that bliss and the longing are different. Bliss is like a seagull flying on the breeze. It flies past me here and flies past me there. And I delight in it.
But longing is like an irresistible tsunami that slowly gathers height and weight and finally takes everything with it. It’s heavy and thundering.
I would not call longing blissful either. What I feel right now is not a sharp, incapacitating longing, but the kind of ache the lover feels if the beloved went off on a journey.
When the longing comes up, I lose all interest in doing anything other than giving it my full attention.
Bliss is the carrot and longing is the stick. Together they keep me moving towards the Source of it all.