By Will Harader, Galactic Free Press, May 28, 2015
I’ve noticed a very strange thing recently. The articles we post about finding happiness are some of the least popular things on our site. Articles about coping with unhappiness are fairly popular, but it seems like there’s a kind of taboo against truly being happy in our society. With that in mind, I present to you our guide to being unhappy:
Now the first key to being unhappy is something almost everyone does already, and this may seem somewhat contradictory, but if you really want to be unhappy, avoid your pain and suffering. All the unpleasant things in your life, just ignore them, don’t deal with them at all. This will ensure those things keep building up, and this is a tried and true technique for creating maximum unhappiness in your life.
Unhappiness thrives in unconsciousness, so you must distract yourself from your own life. This is the root of addiction, and there are countless forms to choose from. There’s the more socially acceptable ones, like television and compulsive eating, and the less socially acceptable ones, like illegal drugs. I suggest one of the more socially acceptable methods as you will generally have a lot more support from other people, which makes things easier.
Another great tool for unhappiness is judgment, and it’s very effective at destroying happiness. Doesn’t matter much if you judge yourself or others since the two are closely connected. However, I suggest judging others since it’s a mask for our own self-judgment and helps to add an extra layer of unconsciousness. Keeping your attention focused outwards will help with avoiding your inner feelings and really assist in anchoring in unhappiness.
Make sure to avoid the Present Moment, since within it is an inexhaustible source of Joy that comes from truly living your life. Don’t let the Present rob you of your unhappiness, you might realize how beautiful existence really is, so instead keep your mind firmly focused upon the imaginary past & future. Focus upon the echoes of your experiences, instead of what you are now experiencing. Focus upon what you desire to experience, instead of what you are now experiencing. Make plans for how you will be present in the future, and make a big deal about how you were present in the past, just don’t be present Now.
There’s also this nefarious Being who’s constantly trying to steal your unhappiness, and I speak of course of God. God keeps telling you that you don’t have to live in fear, and it’s perfectly okay to live your life in joy, so it’s important to block out this message or you might become infected with happiness. Luckily, God doesn’t live in the past or the future, so keeping your mind focused in those “places” will help you to avoid God. You can also superimpose false images of god from your mind over the real God In Your Heart, and there’s numerous belief system created to assist you in this.
To really make yourself unhappy, tell yourself that you’re unworthy of happiness, that happiness is unrealistic, and that your selfish for being happy. Convince yourself that happiness is something to be earned, and not inherent to your Being. You are Unconditionally Loved in every moment and whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to feel this. Pretend that happiness isn’t even a choice, avoid all personal responsibility and blame other people for the way you feel. This will create a feeling of powerlessness, which is guaranteed to make you miserable.
I’m sure I could easily list a hundred other easy tricks for making yourself unhappy, but chances are you know them already. Notice how when fear or hate are in your mind, happiness is nowhere to be found. I have to admit that I committed a major sin against unhappiness though by writing this, and that’s because unhappiness thrives in unconsciousness. If you’re aware of what you’re doing to yourself, of how you’re creating your own misery, there arises an opportunity to stop engaging in those behaviors. Try to forget I said that.
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