On Leaving Heaven

Sacred 100

By Steve Beckow, Golden Age of Gaia

It occurs to me that I haven’t been explicit about a transition in consciousness that happened to me, some time ago actually.

It’s my daily experience but I haven’t discussed it. It never occurred to me to do so, but an ethnography of Ascension requires it.

Also, it now impinges on my life and was a subject of discussion in my last reading with AAM, July 1, 2016.  So it has now entered into the forefront of my awareness and needs to be communicated.

The way to describe it for me is: I was in Heaven a year back and now I’ve tumbled back again to Earth and into everyday consciousness.

Heaven was being in transformative love from March 13, 2015 till Sept. 27, 2015, and then in bliss from that date till somewhere around mid-January 2016.

And then I left those states and returned to normal consciousness, ordinary consciousness, call it what you will. It’s where most of us are.

I don’t call it Third-Dimensional consciousness because it’s probably not. More like higher Fourth-Dimensional by now. (1)

One day in mid-January I found myself bereft of bliss.  Mind you, it had not been continuous before. It had come around 9:00 am every morning and disappeared by early evening.  So it took a while to realize that bliss was really gone.

My awareness shrank accordingly. I got to experience that, when bliss leaves, higher awareness leaves as well.

Right when I needed my awareness most to tell me what was happening, it shrank, got smaller, was less able to do the job. I was unaware and unaware that I was unaware.

I’ve studied the correlation of shrinking awareness to increasing muscular tension in the body so I’m familiar with awareness shrinking. But this situation was new to me and took me by surprise.

Even though I know better, at some deep level I felt as if I’d failed something or someone and had gotten kicked out of Heaven.

It was rough and I felt depressed at times, as Archangel Michael and I discussed in my July 1, 2016 reading.

Archangel Michael: Now humanity is being penetrated. Much of even what you are feeling is residual debris coming to the surface and it feels amorphous. It feels like a deep sense of dissatisfaction.

Steve: … Depression.

AAM: Yes, depression.

Steve: Okay: dissatisfaction, disappointment. All the disses.

AAM: … All the disses… But it does not dismiss the validity of what you and many are going through. I do not wish not only to deny or dismiss your feelings, but [I] also [wish] to encourage you to feel them. (2) But you say to me, “But, Lord. I am going into a deep, dark, black hole.”

Steve: [Exaggerating playfully.] Yes, from which I’ll never return!

AAM: But you know that is not true.

Steve: Yes, but it’s the emotional truth. It’s how I feel.

AAM: Yes, there are many truths, are there not? You are not sinking as far as you think or you feel. (3)

The depression at the inconsolable loss of bliss wasn’t something controllable by a superficial thought. It’s a deep sadness at its departure. I hoped we could wed and settle down together. Not to be.

I had to find an interpretation that would soothe my soul, which needed soothing.

After reflection, the best one I found was that I had served as a scout on an expedition into the consciousness that awaits us all. The assignment was to go ahead for a spell and report back on what was seen and found.

I’m more mollified than soothed by that explanation. The loss of bliss, at a very deep level, is not something that can be compensated for. (4)

There’s very little (almost nothing) in this world that interests me any more and I never before connected that to the loss of bliss.

For instance, I walked up and down the aisles of my local grocery store today, looking to buy myself something to eat while watching a movie tonight (I gave myself permission to buy anything) and I couldn’t find anything that interested me.

Meanwhile I’ve been given invitations to go on other scouting expeditions. That’s really where I live – explorations of consciousness, not finances or public speaking or trips to outer space. As a communicator, my assignment is to report what I see as I go and when I return.

Sign me up for explorations in consciousness, please.

Here’s the latest invitation to let go and be lifted again into the bliss.

Archangel Michael: Feel that you are absolutely surrendering on one of my blue white clouds, sink back and let them all dissipate as if it is rain falling out of that cloud as the cloud simply floats up, sideways, wherever you want and we will take you back into the bliss.

Your job is to surrender, let go. Our job is to lift you up. (5)

I’m sure that invitation applies to you as well. Why would it not? Since when is an archangel exclusive?

I’m as eager at the prospect held out as anyone else might be.

I’m spending as much time as I can now going deeper and deeper into my heart, into the seat of consciousness.

You may wish to go higher and higher.  All directions “lead” to the omnipresent God.

These words burst out of me:

I have seen it. I looked over the wall and I saw it and I had to return.

Oh, it is splendid. I did not want to come back. It’s everything you’ll ever want. It’s worth sacrificing for.

Although I can’t hold the thought throughout the day, it does occur to me to just let everything go and sink down into meditation until the destination is reached. But I won’t. Others can. But I have a job to do.

Everything is laid down. I can afford to let go of worry over how it’ll all turn out. It’ll turn out as the great Director wishes it to. And everyone gets to play their part, like the members of a celestial orchestra, creating inspiring music together.


(1) “Archangel Michael on Waiting,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2016/07/03/278630/

(2) The way to move through an experience like this is not to resist it or try to change it, but to experience the feelings through until they lift. No feeling like depression or disappointment is permanent. “This too shall pass.”

(3) The Higher Summerlands it’d be called on the other side of life, only we on the Earth plane are ensconced in dense, sluggish  matter.

(4) Having had bliss and lost it lights an unquenchable fire in one. Most people having had Brahmajnana (seventh-chakra enightenment) lose the experience of bliss because the heart only remains open only for a time. And they all hunger and thirst for the bliss that attends a permanent heart opening.

Only at Sahaja Samadhi does the heart remain open permanently. That’s a second comforting explanation for my troubled soul.  (By the way, I’m not saying I had Brahmajnana. My understanding is that I have not. All of us will experience Brahmajnana in the future, as a marker on the road to full Ascension.)

(5) “Archangel Michael” ibid.

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