By Mark DeNicola, Collective Evolution
I’m a firm believer that, unless you have some dastardly villain out to get you and your loved ones, we are all our own worst enemy. As much as we all may have that handful of traumatic experiences, caused by the unkind words or actions of another, we can all think of an endless number of times when our thoughts did much worse.
Don’t believe me? Think of how many times you thought of an idea, only to be quickly shut down by thoughts relating to fear, laziness, and belittlement — to name a few.
Given that life by its very nature already throws us more than enough curveballs, why do so many of us maintain the habit of sabotaging our own existence? When did self-ridicule and doubt become the norm? And would we still live in a world where true leaders and risk takers are so hard to come by if we weren’t this way?
As part of my own journey towards more inner confidence, I’ve come up with 7 things we need to stop saying to ourselves so often:
1. “I’ve done enough.”
Complacency sounds sweet when it’s stated as a form of humble satisfaction, but it’s also incredibly belittling. It’s great to appreciate everything you have done up to this point in your life, but that shouldn’t be reason enough to stop doing things altogether. I’m not suggesting that you can’t enjoy some R&R, but rather that you should use your previous accomplishments to fuel further action and inspire you to do even more with yourself.
2. “It’s too late.”
It’s one thing if you missed the hard deadline on a project or assignment, but it’s another thing if you’ve written off the rest of your existence to old age or missed opportunity. In this life, you are never going to be as young as you are right now, so what better time than now to go after and do something you would like to do? Need some proof? Check out these 14 Inspiring People Who Found Crazy Success Later In Life.
3. “Someone else can do it better than me.”
It’s true, someone else probably can do pretty well everything better than you. But they only got themselves in that position because they believed that they could become the best at it. Rather than quitting at the sight of competition, let their accomplishments remind you that improvement is possible and give yourself a chance to shine.
4. “I’ll never get over that.”
Life experiences can certainly be very traumatic, and through this I’m not suggesting that we completely let go and forget all that has happened to us. What I am referring to are the smaller instances that we choose to blow up and let forever taint how we view or treat one another — and in some cases the level to which we trust the entire world. Rather than passively accepting that something has damaged you, stop bringing it up and give yourself a chance to live life without the weight of it consistently on your shoulders.
5. “I was born that way.”
Far too often we use this statement as either a badge of honour or a badge of shame. We use it to boast about certain skills or talents we may have had for as long as we can remember, yet we also use it to justify our shortcomings. Aside from certain physical attributes — body augmentation aside — there is very little that we cannot change about ourselves. We just don’t give ourselves a chance to.
6. “I’m not that lucky.”
No matter your stance on luck, its seeming existence in the lives of others is not a strong enough reason to shut yourself down from going after something. In my opinion, there is very little in this life that luck can accomplish better than hard work and determination, and it’s often those who are working hard who seem to find it when they least expect it.
7. “God, I’m __(insert something negative)__.”
Insert ugly, fat, stupid, or anything else negative you seem to love saying to yourself regularly. The majority of the world may glorify a particular type, body image, or level of accomplishment, but letting that bring you down won’t do you any good. Remember that even those who appear to have been born flawless or who seem like they have the perfect life have just as many issues as you do. The best way to rise above is to not preoccupy yourself with manmade preferences. Love yourself for who you are and go after your goals!