By Marquita Herald, Emotionally Resilient Living

For a lucky few, there will come a moment in their lives when they suddenly GET IT and the voice inside their head cries out “ENOUGH!” They finally realize they’ve been holding back, that the barriers to achieving their dreams have been within them all along and they feel compelled to do something, anything, to break free.

Occasionally this single act of defiance can lead to a turning point that changes a life forever. The bored financial advisor who accepts a volunteer opportunity that leads to an exciting new career running a major non-profit; the insurance salesman struggling to find meaning in his life decides to finally write that book that’s been rattling around in the back of his mind for years and ends up becoming a bestselling author (Hint: Who wrote Hunt for Red October?), or the cash-strapped divorcee who decides to take a break from her worries by accepting an invitation to go on a fishing trip with a supportive friend, discovers that she loves the ocean and ends up running a highly successful online business selling women-friendly wetsuits.

When you are standing at a crossroads in your life, realize that the greatest block that you can put in front of your Self is the idea that there is one “right” choice. ~Story Waters

Confronting Our Barriers

If the research is to be believed, it is entirely possible for anyone to significantly alter the circumstances of their life IF they truly believe in their ability to do so and are willing to fully commit to the effort.

So if that’s true, then why don’t more people actually do it?

To be fair, many people do make the effort to build on dreams, create plans and take the first steps.

More often than we realize (or are willing to admit), the problem isn’t in the starting, it’s continuing when things get tough, when the critics and naysayers come calling, and especially, when the doubts begin to settle in.

It usually goes something like this …

We muster the courage to pursue a dream that has the potential to significantly change our life for the better, but as we begin the practical work to make that vision a reality, we come down with a case of creeping doubts.

Maybe it begins with a significant other or a well-meaning friend asking whether or not this goal of ours is “realistic,” or we find ourselves focusing less on the potential outcome and more on the obstacles (either real or imagined) that we’re likely to face, not to mention the time and effort that will probably be required. The next thing we know the gap between here and there suddenly begins to look a whole lot wider than when we started.

The doubts continue to accumulate and before long we begin thinking that maybe we just aren’t ready yet and need to do more, learn more or somehow be more before we continue.

After all, for now, we’re “fine” (oh how I hate that word!) and we wouldn’t want to risk failure by doing something before we are really ready, right?

So we continue delaying, over thinking, waiting for the right moment and eventually adding it to the perpetual New Year’s Resolution list for a “fresh” start. And so it goes, for months, years … a lifetime.

A Story of Self-Sabotage

If this scenario has made you uncomfortable, good! This new weekly series is all about embracing discomfort to push you out of your self-imposed exile behind the walls of your comfort zone.

Make no mistake about it; our barriers don’t just go away. The only way to move forward is to break through them and you can’t do that by being wimpy, you have to muster the courage to go places you’ve never been before.

The first challenge, and for some the biggest, will be to identify your walls. You see, our self-imposed barriers aren’t always easily identified because they often manifest themselves in ways that appear to have nothing to do with the real issue.

Self-sabotage is a classic response when we bounce up against a barrier. Today, I’d like to share Marie Forleo’s experience with self-sabotage with you.

Marie has helped so many people and achieved a level of success impressive by any standards, which makes her story all the more relevant because it illustrates that anyone can be blindsided by this stumbling block.

~

The book Marie mentioned is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (affiliate link) and I highly recommend it for anyone ready to break free of their barriers.

Gay’s book (which I’ve read more than once!) helped me to identify times I’ve bumped up against my own upper limits. The funny thing is, once you know what to look for, it becomes so obvious!

You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully ~Anthony Robbins

Moving forward …

So as we come to the close of the first post in this series I want to keep in mind that there is nothing magical or special that happens to people who have chosen to break free.

It’s just that at some point, they chose to commit to doing the work. They chose to risk and take action. And most importantly, they chose to be true to themselves.

Before I close, I’d like to encourage you to consider participating in my Countdown Challenge for the remaining 100 days of 2016. There is no reporting or enrollment required, this is all about YOU challenging yourself.

I will, however, encourage participants to share their progress here in the comments, and I’ll be publishing the best stories in a special post in January. To learn more, visit Breaking Your Barriers Countdown Challenge.

Today, someone will break through the barriers of fear and limiting beliefs.
WHY NOT YOU?

About Marquita Herald

Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.

She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.

To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living  click “here“.