By Marquita Herald, Emotionally Resilient Living, November 16, 2015

Some of the most important lessons in life are those we learn the hard way. It’s not that there isn’t plenty of advice around, but somehow we always feel that there will be time ‘later’ or that we will be the exception.

There’s a great quotation that goes  … “The difference between school and life is that school teaches you a lesson and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and then you learn the lesson.”

Following is a collection of a few of life’s hard earned lessons. See if you agree, and feel free to share if you have others you’d like to add.

Life Lessons 101

• Sometimes things happen that make no sense at all, you ask yourself how can one person willfully hurt another? It is more of a statement of disbelief than a question. All we could hope for is that our collective voice against the inhumanity of the few and our universal desire to live in a compassionate filled world extinguish the fire of hatred others have spawned. Let us not forsake our humanity. ~Dodinsky

• There are things in life we don’t want to happen, but have to accept; things we don’t want to know, but have to learn, and people we can’t live without, but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

• The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depts. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

• As you get older you find out that true happiness is not in how much you make, how many degrees you have, how big your house is or how fancy your car is. It’s finding peace, joy and calmness in your life that comes from genuine self-acceptance and relationships that will soon become the most important thing to you. ~Author Unknown

• No matter who tries to teach you lessons about life, you won’t understand it until you go through it on your own. ~Author Unknown

• One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. ~Dale Carnegie

• Not making a choice is a choice. Letting things happen by default is a choice. If we choose to give up our right to make a choice – we have made a choice. We always have choices, even if we do not like the ones available. ~Rachelle Disbennette-Lee

• Clutter isn’t just the stuff in your closet. It’s anything that gets between you and the life that you want to be living, whether it is in your home, in your head, in your heart or on your hips. ~Peter Walsh

What’s the #1 most valuable lesson you learned in 2015 and how will that influence you going into 2016?

• You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away. ~C. JoyBell C.

• The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are … the second greatest is being happy with what you find. ~Author Unknown

• You cannot always count on others to respect your feelings, even if you respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away. ~Author Unknown

• The world is full of abundance and opportunity, but far too many people come to the fountain of life with a sieve instead of a tank car, a teaspoon instead of a steam shovel. They expect little and as a result they get little. ~Ben Sweetland

• In absence of clearly defined intentions, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia. ~Author Unknown

• One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else for your choices, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life. ~Iyanla Vanzant

• Pursuing happiness is not the same as being happy. Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes. The lifelong pursuit of happiness, on the other hand, is more elusive; it’s not based on a particular outcome. What you are really pursuing is meaning. ~Author Unknown

• Looking for love can feel like searching for a missing piece of your heart. You will keep looking for that one special person who will complete you, until you finally realize that person is … you. ~Doe Zantamata

• When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn’t mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over. ~Author Unknown

• Some people think resilience means you never feel FEAR. In reality the strongest people feel, understand and take responsibility for it; they just refuse to be DEFINED by it. ~Marquita Herald

• It’s NOT your fault if someone you care about chooses to be unhappy. You can be kind, thoughtful and loving, but you can’t FIX someone else or control whether they choose happiness or unhappiness. The best thing you can do is to pray for that person’s well-being, and embrace your own happiness. ~Author Unknown

• When you try to run away, you end up running in place. Move TOWARDS something instead of AWAY. Rather than trying to eliminate the negative, focus on creating something positive that just happens to replace the negative. ~Marc Chernoff

• Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with character to forgive. When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay, and it doesn’t even mean that person should be welcome in your life. It just means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go. ~Author Unknown

• The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Family members can be your best friends, and best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family. ~Author Unknown

• Somebody should tell us, right from the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. ~Pope Paul VI

• Sometimes the things we complain most about are the things we care most about. Unfortunately, we don’t always realize that until it’s too late. ~Author Unknown

• Life shouldn’t be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally word out and screaming WOOHOO what a ride!!!

It’s said that the most common end of life regret is not having had the courage to live a life true to oneself, rather than the life others expected of them. While interpretations of this statement will surely vary from person to person, I believe the underlying theme is quality of life. Specifically, mustering the courage to risk living a little larger than we’re comfortable with so that we might truly savor more of what life has to offer.

Be honest with yourself about what you want, don’t leave the china and crystal to gather dust, use it! Fulfill more dreams, love more, kiss more, take more chances, be a beginner more, make more mistakes and above all, let yourself be happy more.

P.S. If you enjoyed these mini life lessons you may be interested to know they are from “The Final Chapter” in my 5* rated book Reflections on Resilient Living. 

What’s you most valuable life lesson from this year?

I’ve invited a few friends to share their most valuable lesson from this year in a special post scheduled for November 30th, and I’d love to hear from you as well! Please consider sharing your most valuable lesson from this year – either in the comment section below or anonymously by following the following link to a simple one question survey. We can all learn from each other and I’d love to be able to share your insights with our readers!

What is your most valuable lesson from 2015 and how will that influence you going into 2016?

Let today be the day you give up who you’ve been for who you can become.

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Everything about Emotionally Resilient Living is focused on the core mission of cultivating inner strength and learning to find the opportunities for growth in all of your experiences! To learn more about ERL please visit the “About ERL” page, and if you’re curious about me you might like to read My Story.