Wes Annac

The Catalyst of Creative Inhibition

Written by Wes Annac, the Aquarius Paradigm

I’m learning something important about myself that pertains to the work I do, and it’s something I’m forced to think about when my creative spark seems doused.

I’m learning that in some instances, I strive too hard to do this work. I’ve tried with all of myself to offer something valuable every day, and I recognize that in doing so, I tend to force and subdue the very flow I work to attain. There are times when the flow is unavailable, and it’s difficult for me to accept this when I try so hard to be of service.

In some cases, I’ve let my drive to do this work inhibit me in actually doing it by setting rigorous standards that, if I don’t live up to, I tend to spiral into disappointment because of. I watch other people diligently serve humanity with inspiring works every day, and my only real goal in life is to serve in such an immense way myself.

I’ve given my existence to spirit to let it work through me, so it can be especially frustrating when the flow I strive so hard to attain is unattainable. It’s an aggravating feeling, and I can tell that it’s something I need to transcend if I want to continue doing this work.

You might not know it, but lately I’ve been trying a lot of different formats for the things I write. One format I’ve tried is what I call ‘higher writing’ or ‘divine writing’ which, essentially, is lightly channeling in place of writing in the concerted, mind-centered way most people do it.

I’ve made it a point to let spirit speak through me, and writing in such a way was really working for me until recently. Generally, I notice that each new format I experiment with works for a couple of days before the flow is inhibited again, and since I want to work without stopping, this has caused quite an emotional rollercoaster.

For me, one of the worst feelings is sitting down at the computer or the notebook and not having one thing to say or bring through. A feeling of uselessness arises that drives me crazy, because honestly, my only desire is to do as much as I can for the betterment of the planet.

Sometimes, I see articles, movies, television shows, etc. that seem low-brow or just plain silly, and I think, Wow. The people who made this were so passionate and worked so hard, but the work they’re reaching millions of people with has little to no significant value to spirit or humanity’s evolution.

When I see this, I wonder how people are able to feel so inspired to produce things that go against our evolution, and yet, I seek to work for spirit but can’t find the flow to do anything significant. It’s confusing to say the least, and the inhibition of my writing/channeling has me endlessly wondering what I’m meant to do to help awaken people.

In a sense, I feel like I try too hard. Maybe I strive too much to produce something I want to be valuable, and instead of focusing on spirit (the essence of the material) I focus on staying in a constant creative flow because I don’t want to greet the feelings of empty uselessness that can result from breaking it.

Maybe I should be okay with slowly writing something that doesn’t end up very long (I try to produce long articles) instead of striving for something I feel disappointed if I can’t attain. Maybe my devotion to spirit and the fact that I seek to offer as much of myself as possible is enough, and I don’t need to try so hard.

Striving to produce the material I do has made me quite unhappy when the flow’s inhibited, because I’ll want to look back on this life and know that I did things that significantly helped the seekers around me.

When the flow seems non-existent, all I can do is sit in observational silence and ask myself (and spirit) just what I’m meant to do. I’ve tried on a lot of different suits – the channeling suit, the writing suit, the ‘higher writing’ suit – but none of them really fit like my narrow, striving mind wants them to.

The solution to this ongoing inner-conflict is always changing, but for now, I think it’s that I need to decrease the pressure I put on myself and, if needed, let myself write a smaller article when the flow isn’t present in the way I’d like it to be.

I’m assured of spirit no matter what, and my endless desire to help humanity become aware of the truth of our existence will never let me stop working. Perhaps it’s the manner in which I work that’s important, and sometimes, it’s ok to stop striving and simply observe.

If I wrote and published a few short paragraphs each day, as opposed to the long and flowing material I’ve been giving, I could perhaps decrease the pressure I put on myself and produce purer work as a result. This is my solution for now, and no matter where the days, weeks, and months ahead take me, I’ll remain assured of what I’m here to do.

How I’m meant to do it is the only thing I’ve been questioning, but the higher realms I seek to appease and subsequently inform others about remain everlasting and unchanging, no matter what I do to bring knowledge about them to humanity.

Wes Annac – Constantly questioning in a time of greater awareness.

Wes Annac is a 20 year old awakening seeker and creator of The Aquarius Paradigm daily news site.

The Aquarius Paradigm features daily spiritual and alternative news, as well as writings from Wes and more. Come check us out!

See also Conscious Oneness, The Aquarius Paradigm on Facebook, and The Golden Age of Gaia.

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12 comments

  2. Hi Wes,

    I ‘saw’ you at the Ascension Rising conference at the end of 2012 and noticed that we had some simularities despite the difference in age. (I’m 59 this May 9th) I also enjoy / am attracted to Sheldon’s information, have long hair, have poverty challenges, passsionately want to be of service. Since you stopped channeling I haven’t been as attracted to your information, it seems well thought out, well written, but just things that I was already aware of or something.

    But the recent article The Catalyst of Creative Inhibition really drew me in. I don’t generally respond to most that I read, but I get online and read most every day, avidly. I have somthing to offer if it’s of any use to you or others. I hope so.

    Like I said, I too have a passionate drive to be of service as well. I have needed to temper that over the years, mostly finally listening to my subtle guidance better.

    One of the impressions that I’ve gotten that it’s ok for me to settle into my Divinity, into that awareness, realization, as I would settle into an easy chair, comfortably, calmly, that I can best be of service from a more relaxed place of being. That’s it’s ok to be a finder rather than a seeker, finally realizing and trusting that all the answers, my answers are within. That’s where I also find my confirmation for what rings true for me.

    Still I’m noticing that at times I tend to look externally for an authority rather my authority.

    If I’m being hard on my self for not being as of service, that a part of me thinks that I should be, then I’m not being Loving to myself, and if I can’t be Loving to myself, how can I be really of service to others as well?

    So many of the questions that you’ve brought up in your article have come up for me too. Thank You for this heart felt article.

    Love, Brad Campbell

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    • Thank you for this stimulating comment, Brad. It seems as if we’re experiencing immense similarities in our drive to serve, and this comment has helped me understand the situation in a much better light. I especially appreciate what you said about settling into our divinity and the knowledge we hold within instead of striving to attain it.

      It’s always been here, we simply need to realize it and accept that it’s an infinite part of our existence.

      Thanks again!

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  3. Hi Wes, I usually read your stuff on Golden Age of Gaia, but comments are off at that website. Your article today pulled me in (I have been pretty much skimming your recent work) for an indepth read. I am 65, don’t want to be pontificating by any stretch of the imagination. But perhaps some of my observations will help. My personal habit pattern would include much mental activity about everything, and I have found myself flustered at times because the mental activity just isn’t cutting it. And I then must remind myself to get down into my heart center and allow stuff to flow (as opposed to figuring out all the details beforehand). Perhaps that will help you (leaving the details to the Universe and getting into your heart center)? Another thing that might sound odd — I find it immensely helpful to simply invoke the Violet Flame into anything/everything that doesn’t seem to be “working” for whatever reason. Love and peace, Diana

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    • Thank you for these suggestions, Diana. I can confirm that the violet flame tends to enhance and smooth out the things we’re doing when we decide to invoke it. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling?

      Much Love 🙂

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  4. Thanks Wes, I enjoyed your reflections on the creative process that you use for your writings. It’s a topic that is close to my heart and it was wonderful to learn about your perspectives regarding the challenges and frustrations in the creative process. Something that I wrote recently seems to address the very topic of creativity that I would like to share and that I hope has some bearing here:

    I write and draw everyday, not out of discipline or because I feel that I “have to,” but because it simply feels really good to do so…and to me it doesn’t matter if what I express on any particular day is meaningful to me or not. I create from an inner urge, a prime directive that nudges my energy to move and express through the field of the Higher Self’s body/mind/heart consciousness.

    When I allow the creative force to move through an opened heart space, a certain momentum builds up to allow the flow and feeling of inspiration. There is then very little effort required…more like relaxing or surrendering into the flow and resonance of a vast and powerful river.

    The Spirit of Creativity is like a divine song playing through the field of consciousness that moves us to vibrate energetically to its emanations. We then cannot help but dance to the joy that wells up from within and to create from the depths of inspiration that we have been gifted with. There is a divine simplicity to all of this: tuning into creativity is a matter of allowing ourselves to just be…in the fullness of all that we are, the dark as well as the light. Any perceived difficulty in doing this is in our resistance to deep feelings.

    Creative inspiration is very much connected with the Bliss Vibration that can be experienced when we open ourselves to the fine nuances of feelings. Because of its innately ecstatic sensation, it doesn’t take much to keep the attention upon its vibration. In the beginning, the only challenge is in recognizing its initial presence and in making a visceral connection with its subtle radiance in the bodily field, especially in the spine. There are many avenues to its experience in the body: dance, meditation, art, music, fasting, etc. The simple secret is in learning to track the sensations to finer and finer subtlety. Certain postures and micromovements can help immensely in building the energetic magnet of the Blissful Resonance. In this matter, there are no “secret” postures or breathing techniques. It is a matter of deeply feeling into any posture that one decides upon and tuning into the finest sensations that naturally arise.

    In cultivating this energy there can be tendencies in the beginning to violently contort the body, as it may not as yet be accustomed to the high voltage moving through it. During such times, gentleness is a good thing to remember so as not to injure or exhaust oneself. With experience we learn the upper limits of what our bodies are energetically capable of and also come to understand the many ways of dancing with these energies without “boiling” over. We learn to cultivate and to build up immense reserves of energy that can then be used for healing as well as for creative work….

    Thanks again Wes! I’m glad I came upon your article!

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  5. Hi! I just wanted to say that to me, the length of the posts isn’t important at all. I don’t think you’ll be serving any less by writing less words. The important thing is to convey what your heart wants to convey. If you can do that in five words, you’ve served just as much as if it takes 10,000 words. Ultimately, the message will tell you what it needs.

    Thanks for sharing this with us! It resonated with me a lot. I have periods of no-flow too!

    Lynn

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  7. Dear Wes
    You do not seem to realise how much your openess and honestly about your struggle is uplifting – because it has certainly opened my heart to you and I am sure that I am not alone – all this love being generated!
    You are being so judgemental of yourself – such expectations – none of us can fix others, no matter how much we want too. Just writing from your heart as you are doing is a wonderful example of the beautiful human being you are – and that is more than enough.
    May you carry on being such an example-when the words come-until then enjoy your music.
    Much love and peace to you
    Carol

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